I want to join the STEP program because it will give me the help I need in high school right now, the program will help me get closer to my goal (to become an obstetrician), it will give me insight on what kind of work I probably will be facing in college, and because I know it will be a good experience for me.
Currently in my high school I am struggling in geometry. I do not like math and never have. The truth is that to become a physician you need to be very good in math and that is not my strongest subject. Regardless of this I am still very determined to become an obstetrician and want to take advantage of this great opputunity. As for the science department I am good in.I decided I wanted to study medicine when I was about ten years old. I find it a rewardingprofession. I do know that to be an obstetrician you need to study for many years but I am still up for it. I want to be an example for my sister and show her that no matter what to pursue her dreams.. I want to show my parents that I am serious about working in the medical field.And I want to prove to myself that I can be a doctor regardless of how hard others say it is. Thank you for considering me.
nituretsky
How about something like this?
I want to join the STEP program because it will give me the help I need in high school right now. This program will help me get closer to my goal (to become an obstetrician). It will also give me insight into the kind of work I will probably be facing in college. I am certainly looking forward to it being a very good experience for me.
Despite struggling in math and geometry, I am committed to overcoming this obstacle. On the other hand, I am very good at science. I do know that to be an obstetrician you need to study for many years but I am still up for it. I decided I wanted to study medicine when I was about ten years old. I want to be an example for my sister and to inspire her to pursue her dreams no matter what. I also want to show my parents that I am serious about working in the medical field. I want to prove to myself that I can be a doctor regardless of how hard others say it is.
Thank you for considering me.
There are 236 words in your version and 188 in mine.
Loves Ladybugs
First things things first. Are you kidding or what? This whole essay is a mess. There are run-ons, fragments, capitalization errors, spelling mistakes, and poor word choice. Go over it, and revise, revise, revise!!!!!
Orignal From: Help me with this essay?How many words are in this essay?Are there any grammatical or punctual mistakes?
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