My whole family has been devastated by pharmaceutical/physician negligence. My husband is now permanently disabled because of this. In my state these communities have tremendous protection, so a lawsuit is futile. I'm having a hard time balancing forgiveness with justice. The bitterness is making me physically ill. I think forgiving them would be good for my soul, yet I feel a need to make them accountable for their egregious behavior. Any suggestions?
fanwandango
Forgiving them would be good for your soul and probably the quality of the rest of your life, however it doesn't sit well with vengeance, I think you have to choose one or the other - forgiveness means letting go.
aladdinwa
You have to realize that God will hold them accountable, and that it is not your place to do so. Realize that feelings of bitterness only serve to kill God's love in your own soul.
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Cucumber Witch (JPAA)
I see several solutions here.
1. Yes, you could forgive for your own peace of mind. Good luck with that, not sure I could do it.
2. You could find other ways round the law. For example, get a TV show to take it up on your behalf. Publicity.
3. Be a nuisance. Wear them down by attrition. Focus your energy on a letter-writing campaign, including local newspapers. Write to the perpetrators at least daily. Get yourself "in trouble" if need be. If you end up in court on harrassment charges, make sure the world knows why. PUBLICITY IS YOUR FRIEND.
4. Extreme version of the above, threaten teir lives in public. Use the media to get justice. Publicity, publicity.
KimmyG
This is such a tough one...I do empathize with you! I have a situation too, where someone dear to me is estranged due to their significant other's lies and deception...that person is to this day unrepentant, and downright vicious towards me. I've spent nights wrestling with thoughts of revenge, and how to make this person suffer the way they have caused me to suffer...but God is slowly showing me that I need to forgive and love (yes, even if they don't show any repentance!). It is a tough road, but one that God will give you strength to take.
Of course, you do need to try to take some sort of legal action, if you can...not only because you have been wronged, but also to keep this person from harming others. But through that, you still need to try and let go of the anger and bitterness...otherwise, it will destroy you, and they will go on living their lives unaffected.
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord."
Looking for renewed hope
We have a very similiar situation, only it happened in December 2004. I live in Washington state. Arlie was prescribed a statin-- by a HMO doctor that saw him only once-- which he did not need but doctors were pushing statins on everyone. He took 23 doses and it left him permanently disabled.
He had the rare side effect that they gloss over on the tv ads now-muscle pain- and it destroyed his muscles. His muscles swelled to the size of hams as hard as concrete. I searched long and hard for a lawyer but was told his case was too hard to prove, not enough evidence, and my son would be a great grandfather before we saw any justice. His rheumatologist said that he developed five autoimmune disorders in one day: rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, polymyalgia rheumatica, osteoporosis and fibromyalgia. We cannot afford to get in any respite care.
I think that chosing to forgive, in hindsight, is better for your family. Let God work out out the justice and look to your own soul. You are on a long path and you need to preserve your energy and well being. Talk to a good laywer and see if this is worth pursuing so you can make your own best decision. You can write them letters but little will happen in the long run. If you sue later, that may hurt your case. Your husband will need care. Get the best care that you can for your family and for yourself. Create a supportive environment and make sure that you have support in your community because being a caregiver is extremely hard without the added burden of bitterness. It would be good to belong to an active church community. A good pastor may be able to help you with the process of forgiving.
I strongly urge you to learn all that you can about caregiving support in your area. Long after the need for justice has been exhausted, your husband will need suppport and care. Caregivers suffer emotionally and physically when they do not receive adequate support.
BOBO
Their human & have faults & make errors. Just accept the human condition as it is, IMPERFECT. That alone is forgiveness.
As far as ACCOUNTABILITY, a suit may wake up those responsible & bring on the reality of the seriousness of their job performance & the ramifications involved for poor performance rendered.
Orignal From: How do I forgive the unrepentant?
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