I'm going through so much. No one cares or understands. They don't wanna hear how I feel.
I'm not even gonna commit suicide or kill myself. I'm just gonna stay home & stay in bed all day, every day. & starve until I die. I haven't been eating much, lately as it is. People, especially my family, hate me so much they don't want me to live. I'm not asking for pity or sympathy. I just need supportive, positive, & uplifting advice.
With my neurological & anxiety disorders, people keep trying to shove religion down my throat & telling me I'm going to hell when I die, since I can't control these. Tourette's, depression, anxiety, OCD. There u have it.
I'm 25 with a college degree & considered disabled. No vocational rehab counselors want to help me find a job. I'm DYING for work! I got student loans to pay off, & employers discriminate & laugh because of my facial tics.
It's pointless for me to live. I'm not gonna eat or drink anything. Not even water. Pointless to take my medicine if they don't help.
I'm about to cry right now. Holding it in. Don't want to talk to or be around anyone. I'm in excruciating mental, physical, & emotional pain. I get too many stomach & headaches. Never feel comfortable. Always weak, dizzy, & feeling like I'm about to pass out. Pointless to go to the Dr. or hospital if they try to turn my physical illness into mental, & try to call me a hypochondriac. I'm NOT! People always think Dr.'s diagnoses are always correct. Doctors diagnose incorrectly all the time. Why do you think they have so many medical malpractice lawsuits & wrongful deaths?
They always give me wrong medication & misdiagnose me in the psych ward, & I feel punished & trapped for 3 weeks there. Feels like some kind of detention. The way I'm feeling right now, I know I need to check myself in, but based on ALL past experiences, the hospital never benefited me. All it did was hurt me more. All they do is yell @ you, treat you like a child, pin you down & restrain you & put a cocktail of Haldol, Cogentin, & who knows what else, & throw you in the seclusion room & laugh & think it's funny. In my everyday life, & in the hospital, people get their KICKS out of triggering me off to have a Tourette's outburst, so they can laugh. It's not fair. I need help & don't know where to turn. I don't even have my family. I have sensitive ears (hyperacusis) & tinnitus & vertigo, & my brothers & sisters smack on their food LOUD, on purpose, just to trigger me off to have an anxiety attack, & they laugh hysterically, like they're watching a funny comedy show.
I give up on my life. I can't take suffering any longer.
samchuckabutty
I'd say it was pretty unlikely that you're going to get a complete solution on here.
you obviously have physical and psychological issues at the moment which must be excruciating.
The lines between the two often get blurred too with one exacerbating the other.
You seem to be pretty much at the end of your tether and things are in decline.
Any contact with individuals who could/should ease the situation(family/health workers) is making you more agitated and in turn less likely to seek help,guidance or reassurance.
I think you need to have a little think and work out what your main problems are and some starting points to sort them out.
I know some of these issues are hard to quantify bu write things down and see what small steps can help.
You may roll your eyes now but rest,sleep,knocking off stimulants and upping fresh air and exercise will help a good few.
I can't really comment on
vertigo or certain of your other conditions but I've been on Haldol and I know it's no party but I accept that at the time it had it's uses.
In my opinion it's a short term solution which I was kept on for far too long.
You seem to be in the same frame of mind that I was in when the fog cleared.
You are angry and indignant at the way you have been treated but it seems to be turning in on you.
You feel you are being victimised and feel as if you are inside with everyone else looking in and pointing at you.
You need to talk to someone who you can trust and will listen to you.
Take a pause ,are you being a little oversensitive in certain areas ?
You have listed about six different groups of people who seem to have it in for you.
More people than you think have wobbly patches in their mid-late twenties.
Get yourself active in any way you can.I don't know where you are but if you can't find work and want activity,get whatever benefits you can and do some volunteer work.
Even if it was delivering leaflets you'd meet people and make progress.
Start at the begining and take one step at a time .
Good luck.
Orignal From: How do I cope with these feelings, if I can't even turn to the psych ward for help? ?
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