I'm going through so much. No one cares or understands. They don't wanna hear how I feel.
I'm not even gonna commit suicide or kill myself. I'm just gonna stay home & stay in bed all day, every day. & starve until I die. I haven't been eating much, lately as it is. People, especially my family, hate me so much they don't want me to live. I'm not asking for pity or sympathy. I just need supportive, positive, & uplifting advice.
With my neurological & anxiety disorders, people keep trying to shove religion down my throat & telling me I'm going to hell when I die, since I can't control these. Tourette's, depression, anxiety, OCD. There u have it.
I'm 25 with a college degree & considered disabled. No vocational rehab counselors want to help me find a job. I'm DYING for work! I got student loans to pay off, & employers discriminate & laugh because of my facial tics.
It's pointless for me to live. I'm not gonna eat or drink anything. Not even water. Pointless to take my medicine if they don't help.
I'm about to cry right now. Holding it in. Don't want to talk to or be around anyone. I'm in excruciating mental, physical, & emotional pain. I get too many stomach & headaches. Never feel comfortable. Always weak, dizzy, & feeling like I'm about to pass out. Pointless to go to the Dr. or hospital if they try to turn my physical illness into mental, & try to call me a hypochondriac. I'm NOT! People always think Dr.'s diagnoses are always correct. Doctors diagnose incorrectly all the time. Why do you think they have so many medical malpractice lawsuits & wrongful deaths?
They always give me wrong medication & misdiagnose me in the psych ward, & I feel punished & trapped for 3 weeks there. Feels like some kind of detention. The way I'm feeling right now, I know I need to check myself in, but based on ALL past experiences, the hospital never benefited me. All it did was hurt me more. All they do is yell @ you, treat you like a child, pin you down & restrain you & put a cocktail of Haldol, Cogentin, & who knows what else, & throw you in the seclusion room & laugh & think it's funny. In my everyday life, & in the hospital, people get their KICKS out of triggering me off to have a Tourette's outburst, so they can laugh. It's not fair. I need help & don't know where to turn. I don't even have my family. I have sensitive ears (hyperacusis) & tinnitus & vertigo, & my brothers & sisters smack on their food LOUD, on purpose, just to trigger me off to have an anxiety attack, & they laugh hysterically, like they're watching a funny comedy show.
I give up on my life. I can't take suffering any longer.
Pyar
You are pitiful . you are disabled . Stop whining and go to rehab services and tell them you want help .
You've got one thing down , you're great at feeling sorry for yourself .
latj
I have told you so many times that your family is the sole responsibility of your problems. You live alone and DO NOT have to have contact with them but you continue to put yourself in constant contact with people who are TOXIC to you. I am sure that your therapist has told you the same thing. Your Brother should NOT be at your house at all. You should find friends that help you and not hurt you. Sometimes family can be the least understanding when it comes to physical and mental illness. You were doing so well and then all of a sudden you were surrounded by family and now you are down and out again.
If you don't go to the hospital and do not try to educate yourself more on the diseases you have and how YOU can learn to pull YOURSELF out of the rut you are in and STAY AWAY FROM TOXIC people you are going to continue to spiral downward. The words I am saying are harsh but true. I do care about you and you know it. You don't need the "cocktail" of drugs you need to be away from toxic people and to find people who will benefit you instead of constantly "taking" from you. I wish for ONCE you would listen and actually do something about it. Good luck. You need some help and badly. I think you should check yourself in before you cause physical damage to your body. DO NO INVOLVE YOUR FAMILY, you can do this yourself. You are 25 and an adult. Start behaving like one, they 99.9% of your problem. God bless you, I will pray for you.
Peace & Love :)
microbopeep
As best as you can stay away from your family.
I am sorry you are going through such things. Please don't starve yourself. I would suggest that you keep looking for the help you need to help you through these feelings.
Orignal From: How do I cope with these feelings, if I can't even turn to the psych ward for help? ?
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